Sewn

I am so sad
most the time,
I dont see why.

I try to look at the positive,
every single instance, every single time.
But even when I see,
how happiness is in the distance;
Coming, and I can spot it,
I know I've felt it,
and I remind myself of the "how could I have even been sad?" moments
It never matters.
Because the down moments last longer,
they're worse,
they eat me.
Taking pieces out of my skin.

It's as if I was being chewed on,
then sewn up.
& every time I am sewn,
they say "all better now"
and it is better.
Until I am chewed on again.
Until I am told how good being sewn is,
again.

I am a tired ragdoll
being chewed and sewn,
chewed and sewn.
Pieces of me gone,
parts of me hanging, damaged,
but I keep going, I keep existing.
Just to be chewed again
sewn again.

The Deep End

Agony,
again.
I miss you
my friend.

Empty briefcase,
idiot idol.
Forget my name,
kill my recital.

I am nothing,
no one
ever.
For, I let you go.
I'm drowning against the river.
Tear my heart
from among the dividends.
Net my love
with the weeds and loose ends.

I am a fool.
I miss you, deep end.

Esteem

I am ugly.
Naked fruit
To be sampled
By the masses.

Punch One Love

You should remember,
Right?
The way it Hits me
in photographs
against the light.
Where the marks make me,
and the toll takes me
& I'm left to the river by the sea.
Just a sandlot,
with a speck of me.