The System

No one cares,

you're a lost cause.

Emptied their wallets,

found no odds.

They say you,

though, I think them flawed.

Embrace your fellow human,

they're all you've got;

In this world of...

malice, hatred, hot -

Forsaken place

money had bought.

See Me

I wish I was made of windows,
so you could see right through me. 
I’m drowning in this muck,
what mud!
& nobody can view me. 
I am, I live,
I love & breathe;
some may say,
A being! 
But tragedy is as tragedy goes,
& nobody believes me. 
So I’ll sit right here & wrinkle my nose 
until you open your eyes 
to meet me.

Grandpa's Root Beer Bar

Somewhere inside,

I am what makes me,

me.

Deep within the joy

of a simple Root Beer,

Icy & cold.

Nostalgia fills my tongue

& I am lost in summertime -

Motorcycle rides,

dripping popsicle on my good shoes.

Empty, maybe - That it be anything of importance;

That  dusty beverage on the shelf.

Well, maybe to someone else.

But here,

somewhere inside,

there is the joy

and what makes me, me.

Post Traumatic Stress

SUBMISS

& I did.

For it is I that hath been beaten

held like a bird by the foot,

cradled by claws

'til my final killing come.

I am a roman numeral IXII,

noises from a past life

take me to the dark side,

& I eat the ghoulish petals

of those poppies gone black.

For nothing else satisfies 

the shadow I harvest inside;

I hold remnants, eaten so unhealthily..

Until I can somehow turn them to gold instead,

but gold is only in their head...

The Deepest Wish

Carry this pocket watch,

my shallow heart's-dream.

I will be grateful

to have ever been seen.

Let Me Love You Full and Loud

Please tell me

the thing you disliked the most about me,

because all I ever asked

was to feel your arms around me.

I let my heart go,

let it abound me,

and now all I'm left with

is a darkness surround me.

I wish you would have let me

be all you knew to be,

I wish I could have become

all you needed.

I crave

for the day

you see my eyes

and ask me to be more than yours,

always for you.

I want to be

someones' everything,

more than I wish to breathe.

I want to make

someone my always,

been waiting

an eternity.

All the ways

you wish to be loved,

I want to make it seen.

Let me love you

full and loud,

then scream your heart at me.

I have lost my knees,

I am weak;

empty heart,

failed thieves

tried to steal

all I am ,

in my mind,

my heart,

my grief -

but no one's seen

and no one's touched

anything

like me.

Poet

On my most open page

I have been hiding.

Beneath the folds

of the library's master -

I sheltered there...

lapped the ink,

dried the page.

How I loved it.

Not a soul

hath tasted the nature

of my organic words -

Though,

they breathe for you.

At sanity's end,
I closed the book!

&, oh,

how it did defeat me to...

I lain,
a misery.

Until paper found my palm again...

Heaven, Haels! My ill-forgotten friend.

I was mistaken.

It is this pen

I live in.

Pretty

Maybe tomorrow I'll be pretty.

or Tuesday.

Sometimes,

I'll be pink for a day

just to say I was pretty.

But other days I feel so..

blue.

But then, the beauty takes me away -

to some other shade of orange...

Something like a sunset;

One you'd never thought to see,

hazed in pretty purple pieces of me.

Sensibility

Why...
these words, ugly,
Ever haunting the homes of the once known?
Consuming lost meaning,
defining lives, all our own.

I say,
everything is nothing;
& in a dream,
I found 8 impossible things
before breakfast,
& fed them to my cat
who said "quite honestly,
nothing is ours."

So we left,
through an open window.
Because you said so, sensibly.

Self-worth

Only given worth to myself;

I am empty upon the shelf.

Told by word of mouth,

breathed to mean it,

but couldn't shout --

It is me.

When I greet the setting sky,

jet the blackness in my eyes,

crease the curse across my thighs...

It is me.

& when I eat the open 'morrow,

rest my worries,

calm my sorrow

I can live,

for it is me

that I live for.